JARRETT MOFFATT

Things eventually coming to jarrettmoffatt.com:


-‘Employee of the Month’ from a small town gas station

-One of those direct mail letters from charities that comes with personalized address labels so you feel guilty and donate

-Social media content for the theatrical release of Morbius 2: More Morbius, More Problems

-A script for a TV pilot no one wants to read, including me

-Less poems

-Stuff that’s clearly trying to fill out this website (like this list)

-Manifestos, but not the brand ones, the ones that scare everyone

-A spec billboard campaign that imagines all my shortcomings as endearing quirks

-A laundry detergent commercial with the actors taking deep breaths into freshly-washed towels

-Pictures of napkins I’ve doodled on to show that good ideas can come from eating at Denny’s

-A collection of original slow cooker recipes titled "Go With The Slow"

-A list of books I’m never going to write and why I’m never going to write them

-North Dakota tourism campaign that’s just repurposed assets from South Dakota’s “Meth. We’re On It.” anti-meth campaign

-Work that makes you think I like work

-A thesis on Standard Oil and the Sherman Antitrust Act of 1890 that was rejected for spelling Rockefeller "Roc-A-Fella"

-A section of my website about how great my website is

-A cigarette print ad in Woman’s Day